LAPAR ... DINGIN ... JELEK ... huhehehehehe ....

gue memutuskan untuk gak bikin apapun menjadi seragam ... gue pengen nulis apa yang gue suka dengan huruf apapun dan warna apapun ... huhehehehe ....

hmmm ... salut deh buat bokap gue .... hehehe ... jarang kan gue nulis ttg keluarga gue di sini??? But I must admit ... he's one of the best person alive ... ulet banget dah orangnya ... He's a retired middle-rank army officer ... and he's a used car businessman now ... gue sering liat beliau beli mobil yang kondisinya jelek banget ... tapi beliau yakin dengan sedikit sentuhan, mobil-mobil itu bakal balik ke kondisinya semula ... kayak kijang '96 yang dia beli kemaren ... sumpe dah ... gue aja bingung sama wujudnya yang aneh bin ajaib ... mana knalpotnya sok-sok balap gitu ... apa udah soak gue juga gak tau deh tuh knalpot ... trus bodinya ... wualah!!! catnya pada ngilang entah kemana ... dengan telatennya dia bawa mobil itu ke bengkel langganannya ... dan dikit-dikit bokap gue itu juga berusaha betulin doortrimnya sekalian ... kira-kira 3 hari setelah nginep di bengkel, mobil itu akhirnya bertengger lagi di garasi ... gue cuma bisa bilang ... wow ... wow ... dan another wow ... mobil jelek itu balik lagi ke wujud asalnya ... seger ... kayak baru keluar dari pabrik ... top banget dah ... I learn something from that ... yeah ... kalo elo mau barang bagus, elo harus usahain agar apa yang udah ada di tangan loe jadi sebagus apa yang elo inginkan ...

*dedicated to my old man ... I know we had a lot of fights lately ... but, I still respect you very very much ...

I Kiss the rain ... Hell Yeah ... it feels so good ... so damn good ...

"love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. love is a battle; love is a war; love is a growing up."
- james baldwin -

taken from my friend's blog ... and it gives me the chill here ... maybe I have been too selfish ... this is the time I have to let go all ... yes ... All ...

hate
ain't
enough
to
describe
me
.......

this is my third cup of non-sugar coffee cream ... it keeps my heart beating at least ... sooo damn hectic here ... feels like sleeping right now ...

Joey: Uh... uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns?
Chandler: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
Joey:You got a better idea?
Chandler: All right, call it in the air.
Joey:Heads.
Chandler: Heads it is.
Joey: Yes! Whew!
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something.
Joey: Right. Okay, okay, uh... ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?

huehehehehe ... they're always crack me up ... you know from what sitcom this is???

I know this is it ... this is how we're end up ... all the memories start to blurring ... so are my eyes

finally ... akhirnya gue lepas juga dari ikatan itu ... dan gue cukup puas dengan hasilnya ... no more I in your life ... Mental Tempe??? yang bener aja?!?! you been using me for all this year ... hilang dah respect gue .... DASAR SAMPAH!!! I wonder ... can you find another man better than me??? I don't think so ... I am not cocky ... I am confidence ...

split personality disorder this is the keyword for today ... gue bisa ber hahahaha hihihihi ... tapi sisi lain gue perih gak keruan ... dan perihnya itu dah menjelma ... dan membentuk sebuah bayang rasa sakit ... physically ... just wanna get home and get high with my siblings ... they ordered me to bring some martabak kubang and some booze ... believe me ... we will get high ...

Yeah ... I'm Nemo check it out if you don't believe me ... whatever

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

tolong ... kasih tau gue jalan keluar dari ini semua ... ANJING!!! semuanya bikin jadi gak beres ... semuanya ... and YOU!!! Big Guy ... your silence just killing me ... am i left behind?!?! all my prayer is wrong?!?! is that it??? C' mon, man ...

UUUAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!! .... hhhh ..... hhhh ... pengen teriak sampe leher gue putus kayaknya deh ... RRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! ...

I am just as cranky as hell ... I guess no one can get close to me now ...

Take, take till there's nothing
Nothing to turn to
Nothing when you get through
Won't you break
Scattered pieces of all I've been
Bowing to all I've been
Running to
Where are you?
Where are you?

Did you leave me unbreakable?
You leave me frozen?
I've never felt so cold
I thought you were silent
And I thought you left me
For the wreckage and the waste
On an empty beach of faith
Was it true?

-Jars Of Clay- Silence

Reservoir Dogs' Script
Madonna Speech

Tarantino, Quentin - Madonna Speech (Dialogue)
MR. BROWN
What the fuck was I talking about ?

MR. ORANGE
You said "True Blue" was about a guy, you said it's a girl who meets a nice guy But "Like a Virgin" was a metaphor for big dicks.

MR. BROWN
Ok, let me tell ya what "Like a Virgin"'s about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine. I'm talking, morning, day,night, afternoon, Dick, dick,dick, dick, dick,dick, dick, dick, dick.

MR. BLUE
How many dicks is that?


MR. WHITE
A lot.


MR. BROWN

Then one day she meets a John Holmes motherfucker, and it's like, whoa baby. I mean, this cat is like Charles Bronson in "The Great Escape." He's diggin tunnels. Now she's gettin this serious dick action, She's feelin something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain

JOE
Chew? Toby Chew? No.

MR. BROWN
It hurts. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt. You know, her pussy should be Bubble-Yum by now. But when this cat fucks her, it hurts. It hurts like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what is once like to be a virgin. Hence, "Like a Virgin."

I wanted so badly somebody other than me
Staring back at me but you were gone
I wanted to see you walking backwards
And get the sensation of you coming home
I wanted to see you walking away from me
Without the sensation of you leaving me alone
- Counting Crows' "Time and time again"-
this is exactly  how I feel right now ... Feel that, Q ... it must've been fun, right??? to be crashed??? again??? yeah ...

No one Falls in love by Choice
whoever wrote this email with this subject must be insane ... you think so??? I love by choices and reasons ...

Why we have to live in so much hate everyday?
Oh yeah
Why the fighting and the coming down, am I sane?
I don't know
When the teacher put the ruler down on my hand
I laugh!
Cross my heart and hide reliever in trails of blood,
I love?!?

I don't have the need to go home ... Hit me, I don't know the reason ... I found myself a place I can call home too ... but it's not quite open yet ... one more key to go to open ... but I feel much comfortable there ... alive ... really ... for the first time in my life ... I feel that way ... strange

Something in my soul never changes baby
You're the one that's keeping me sane
There is no other that I have ever conceived
Could be my lover and never leave when I run free
Could be my lover, could be my lover

Always You - Jennifer Paige
for the one I always love ...
you keeping me sane, Thank You ...
you keep everything look simple in your perspective, Thank You ..
you keep me in your hand, the most comfortable place on earth I know by far, Thank You ... 

All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here/There must be something more.
Bring me to life.

this song still gives me the chill

now I sit in front of my desk ... staring empty ... I wish ... I wish ... so many wishes in my head now ... so many things I want from life ... even though life itself is very generous to me ... I don't seem to be thankful ... ~sigh ...

so numb ... so heavy ... I can taste in my fingers ...

weekend is already knocking on my door ... and the weekend schedule is a bit hectic ... I hope I can make it all ... last night I have the weirdest dream ever ... I'll tell you sometimes ... a bit like science fiction ...

Cherish the thought
Of always having you here by my side
Oh baby I cherish the joy
You keep bringing it into my life
I'm always singing it cherish your strength
You got the power to make me feel good
And baby I perish the thought
Of ever leaving I never would

tiba-tiba gitu??? jadi serius??? kok bisa seh??? salah makan kali yah???

Go home ... this is what I need right now ... so tired and burnt out ... I have to go back to the reality ... I need to see my bed and crash myself ...

Still here at the office ... blurring my eyes ... burned out ... I wonder now ... does she miss me as bad I miss her from up here??

The Road not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.