final theater

july 24th, 2004

Theater I: Computer Networking (feat: OSI layers and hub-switch thingy and topology thang)
Theater II: Electronic I (the evil begin to strike)
Theater III: System Performance Analysis (set out the standards and benchmarking, lads!)

july 25th, 2004

Malaysia Trip ... and the big boys still fight a lot about it ... heck, i don't give a damn care about it though ...

Colours

Deep inside the border
Children are crying
Fighting for food
Holding their heads
Breaking their bread with a stone

All along the roadside
people are standing
watching the sun
shielding their eyes
Brushing the flies from their face

Tell me, what can you say
Tell me, who do you blame
Like a mirror you see yourself
These people each have a name

All around the township
Young men are dying
(of) hunger and thirst
The well has run dry
The tears from her eye feeds her son

Tell me...

You can say you're pulling back
We see the pictures everywhere
But what we don't see is what's
Going on behind the closed doors
And you don't seem to care

Do you expect me to believe you
How can you really think
You can take your horse down to the water
Hold a gun at his head
And make him drink

No matter what you say, it never gets any better
No matter what you do, we never see any change

People living without rights
Without their dignity
How loud does one man have to shout
To earn his right to be free

You can keep your toy soldiers
To segregate the black and white
But when the dust settles
And the blood stops running
How do you sleep at night?

No matter what you say...

What makes you so high and mighty
What makes you so qualified
You can sit there and say
How many have their freedom
But how many more have died

You decide to sit in judgement
Trying to play God yourself
Someday soon the buck is gonna stop
Stop with you and noone else

No matter...

how can you managed thousands of thousands pages of web in a week? i am talking about redesign ... and re-live it ... single person ...

04.eps

amarah mengeruh
lelah menggayut
sebentuk jiwa yang kalut

sepotong asa
saji tersamar

doaku akan rengkuhan sayap
jagamu malam ini

jumpa kita esok
dalam canda
dalam tautan jemari

capek ...

one sleeping pill ... two pain killers ... crash to bed ...

and this morning, i woke up with my aching body ... it's unbearable ... as if you have your body nailed to the bed ... stiff as a board ... this is the result of two days away from the office and rode my bike to outer side of jakarta and back home for two days straight ...

i wish i could get out of this shell ... just walk out ... and try to breathe this fresh air without ever feeling the sore in my back ...

stop whining like a baby ... get the work done ... and hopefully can get myself a proper massage ...

no reason

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

*excerpt from hoobastank's "the reason"*

lazy journal

sabtu kemaren bokap gue ulang taun. meskipun umurnya masih diperdebatkan oleh tetangga sebelah (tetangga sebelah yang dulu ikut pendidikan militer satu kelas sama bokap gue ngeyel kalo bokap gue itu umurnya 58, sedangkan sedunia yakin kalo bokap gue umurnya 59 ... tahun ... bukan bulan ...) ... well, what can i say? happy birthday, sir .. yes, we fight a lot lately ... ok ... it was in the past ... we're ok now ... please dont worry too much with your blatant ignorant son,ok? ... i love you so much ...

and also ... the compliment always goes to the chef master ... my mum ... for putting all of her effort to cook all the delicious b'day meal ... it was fantastico magnifico ... hohohoho ... eventhough we get bored the next day and decide to eat at the soto mie stall near the dwima plaza ... hehehehe ... yummy ...

and sunday turned out to be a sunday lazy fest 2004 ... all i did is just sleep, went downstairs and eat ... went upstairs ...sleep ... went downstairs *again* ... eat some more ... went back upstairs ... sleep ... and finally i figured out this is so useless ... so i made up my mind ... i went downstairs ... eat some more ... and ... no .. no went upstairs ... i went to my parents' bedroom and curled myself there ... it's the closest waypoint to the kitchen ... the source of good food and happiness *yayyyyy* ...

and i ended up getting a serious "too-much-sleep-hangover" at the church ... my mum kept pinching me ... just to make me open my eyes ... huehehehehe ...

i need to go home and have my bro to fix the PC ... it's all his fault ... he has to fix it ....

"Knees Of My Bees"

We share a culture same vernacular
Love of physical humor and time spent alone
You with your penchant for spontaneous events
For sticky and raspy, unearthed and then gone

You are a gift promised sent with a wink
With tendencies for conversations that raise bars
You are a sage who is fueled by compassion
Comes to nooks and crannies, is bound for all stars

You make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
You make the knees of my bees weak

You are a spirit that knows of no limit
That knows of no ceiling who baulks at dead-ends
You are a wordsmith who cares for his brothers
Not seduced by illusions of fair-weather friends

You make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
You make the knees of my bees weak

You are a vision who lives by the signals of
Stomach and intuition as your guide
You are a sliver of god on a platter
Who walks what he talks and who cops when he's lied

You make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
You make the knees of my bees weak
You make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
You make the knees of my bees weak
You make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
You make the knees of my bees weak

Dedicated to i know who ... thx for the love and care, hun ...

now i need coffee ...

someone with high power just saved my temple from the irresponsibles. praise the lord!

18:17

kekhawatiran yang berlebihan itu seperti kursi goyang ... cuma bisa maju mundur ... tapi kitanya tetep aja di titik itu ... statis ...

terima kasih pada pencipta semesta
yang telah mengantar kembali
sesosok malaikat mungil
kembali dalam tautan jemari
tanpa kurang suatu apa ...

what's wrong with the people nowadays? they always ... i mean ... always end a telephone conversation with the word "i love you" ... c'mon ... is that word become meaningless now? is it just me, or .... ? *me ... after receiving 2 phone calls with "i love you"s ending ...*

sedang belajar mengucapkan selamat tinggal

mendekati sebuah akhir

ketegangan yang luar biasa melanda jika kita dihadapkan pada sebuah akhir... entah itu akhir yang bahagia ataupun yang sedih dan memilukan ... di sinilah aku sekarang ... mendekati akhir dari sebuah pertandingan ... laju adrenaline itu semakin melecut dalam helaan tiap napasku ... langkah kakipun terasa lebih gesit ...

aku akan merindukan setiap detik dari akhir pertandingan ini ... akan kunikmati tiap detik darinya ... tiap helaan napasku ... tiap lelah tubuhku ... akan kulebur diriku dalam sebuah akhir ...

sepotong tahu panas

sepotong tahu panas itu kini berada dalam genggaman tanganku. udara sekitarku dingin sekali. menggigil. udara depok akhir-akhir ini sangat tidak ramah. hujan yang terus mengguyur sejak siang tadi makin membuat perutku melilit terasa sangat lapar. sepotong tahu panas itu kini berada dalam genggaman tanganku.

sepotong tahu panas itu kini berada dalam genggaman tanganku. tak lupa kuambil sepotong cabe rawit sebagai kawan makan tahu ini. aku berjongkok di bawah tiang penyangga atap stasiun pondok cina sore itu. tiang besi kokoh berwarna biru yang catnya mulai pudar di sana sini menjadi tempatku menaruh punggung. melepas lelah.

sepotong tahu panas itu kini berada dalam genggaman tanganku. rasanya sayang untuk memakannya sekaligus. uang yang kukumpulkan dari membersihkan gerbong kereta hari ini masih sangat sedikit. mungkin sekarang ini tanggal tua yah? orang semakin pelit untuk sekedar menjatuhkan uang logam mereka ke dalam tengadah telapak tanganku. oh, biarlah ... tak baik terus mengeluh ... coba senyum ...

sepotong tahu panas itu kini berada dalam genggaman tanganku. sepertinya sekarang saat yang tepat untuk mulai menikmati rejeki hari ini ... ku mulai dengan memakan cabe rawit ini dulu ... ibuku, yang sekarang entah berada di mana pernah bilang kepadaku waktu aku masih kecil, makanlah cabenya dulu ... rasakan pedasnya hidup ini ... kerasnya hidup kemudian tahu ... makanlah tahu itu sebagai pengingat dimanapun ada kesusahan, akan selalu ada penghiburan nantinya.

sepotong tahu panas itu kini berada dalam genggaman tanganku. dan sekarang cabe rawit ini telah terkunyah dalam mulutku. sempurna. aku telah memilih sepotong cabe rawit terpedas yang ada di mangkuk kecil itu ... tiba saatnya menyantap tahu goreng ini ...

sepotong tahu panas itu kini berada dalam genggaman tanganku. serombongan orang-orang terpelajar yang bernama mahasiswa itu beramai-ramai memenuhi stasiun kecil ini. mereka hendak pulang ke rumah. rumah. sebentuk bangunan dengan kasih dan sayang yang hangat tentunya di dalamnya. tapi mereka ini sepertinya tidak ada yang melihat diriku yang terjongkok bersandar di tiang penyangga atap stasiun ini... salah satu dari mereka merangsek ke pinggir dan kakinya secara tidak sengaja menabrak tanganku. tahuku. jatuh.

sepotong tahu panas itu kini tidak lagi dalam genggaman tanganku. mulutku hanya bisa berdecap decap kepedasan ... dan perut ini semakin perih ...

jangan kalap ...
jangan kalap ...

saya ...
lelah ...

sleeping pill and painkiller ... perfect ... good old habit start to kick in ... again ...